I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
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the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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