i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What a dumb baby whore.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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