I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
organizing the empties. That sober.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
