Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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