Porn is love you can see.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
