I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize