i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize