Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
