Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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