So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
