We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
