I CAN MOONWALK!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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