Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize