I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
