i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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