Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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