i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
