i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize