So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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