K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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