The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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