I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
