I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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