I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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