i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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