Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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