There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
