I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
