I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
