It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
