I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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