Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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