well you can't waste a boner
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
