Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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