Someone shit on the floor
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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