Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
