so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
