bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Operation Purity has been aborted
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize