Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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