Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
