Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
