I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
