it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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