hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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