I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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