But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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