You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
