I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
