Don't you send me to vm
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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