i just had sex bonerless
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
