your thong is hanging out like whoa
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I love you.
Bad choice
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
