what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
