Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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