chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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