Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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