she told me i tasted like america
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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